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Saturday, January 30th, 2010
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3:36 pm - Just for the record....
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I get asked this question a lot....
Why do you NEED an AK47?
The answer is: I don't. However, if I wanted to live in a country where I only got what I needed, I'd move to China. Got it?
I should probably post-date this entry a couple of years so that it stays at the top of my journal.
-J
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(32 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, November 27th, 2009
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6:57 am - Ha!
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Some douchebag just wrecked and killed himself on a crotch rocket up here. Investigators estimate that he was traveling in excess of 100 MPH.
Got what he deserved, yes/yes?
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
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5:38 pm - West Virginia Turnpike
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Tolls went from $1.25 and $0.25 to $2.00 and $0.40.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Good thing I have an alternate route that's only 9 miles longer, plus it avoids that piece of shit speed trap known as Summersville.
Fuck you, your tolls, and your hick town speed traps.
-J
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| Saturday, November 21st, 2009
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10:22 pm - N.C. Parade Organizers Ban Mrs. Claus From Holiday March
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http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,576172,00.html?test=latestnews
Organizers of the Raleigh parade told The News & Observer of Raleigh that they are just following policy and children would be confused if there were two people in the Saturday parade in Santa suits.
Seriously? Seriously?!?
Wow. I'm just a dumb ol' Hillbilly that grew up in West Virginia and I don't remember any of us kids being confused by Mrs. Claus. I thought you highfalutin' people down there in Raleigh were fancier and smarter than that?
Lately I've been finding myself feeling pretty dumb at times. I can't seem to keep the simplest shit straight in my head and I forget everything. I'm starting to think that it was the 12 years I spent in North Carolina that did this to me. Gods, your children are retarded if seeing Santa with Mrs. Claus "confuses" them.
-Jeff
current music: Garmarna - Herr Mannelig
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| Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
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2:23 pm - Ugh...
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The mixture of mucus, dead bacteria, and fresh blood, and coagulated blood that came out of my nose this morning was truly a sight to behold.
I hate sinus infections. I would rather be dealing with the piggy flu than this.
-J
current music: Domina Noctis - In To Hades
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| Sunday, November 15th, 2009
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12:57 pm - Gotta love frivolous lawsuits..
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Here's one where some douchebag is suing Bon Jovi, Time Warner, and Major League Baseball for $400 billion. That's right, with a B.
http://www.comcast.net/articles/music/20091022/ENTERTAINMENT-US-BONJOVI/
What the fuck, man? I think that one of the fundamental flaws with our civil court system is the whole concept of universal access. While I am sure that this was designed with the best of intentions, it's been shown time and time again that it's subject to a plethora of abuses and misuses. Why don't we have some kind of summary review system where a panel of judges can flip through these filings and tell these people to "get a goddamn clue" before this stuff even makes headlines? I get so sick and tired of seeing this stuff clutter up our civil courts and waste my taxpayer money.
We're also supposed to have universal access to emergency services, too, right? However how much do you want to bet that if I start dialing 911 to ask why traffic is backed up on I-75 that before long I'm going to be facing fines and jail time? Why can't we do something like this with our civil courts?
What it boils down to is fat, lazy people who are too sorry to get a job and work for what they want. They see a sucessful entertainer, or a successful corporation, and they immediately see dollar signs and try to find ways to exploit these successes for their own gain. If they spent as much time and energy on actually getting a job and working as what they did trying to get rich quick, they might find that being in the working world isn't too bad, and has it's rewards.
Other than a few things that were given to me as gifts, everything I own I worked and paid for myself. It gives me a great deal of satisfaction knowing that this is the case, and allows me to sleep at night. I'm sure I could probably find somebody to sue and not ever have to work again, and own a lot more than what I do now...but then I would be just another white trash piece of shit. I'm so sick and tired of people acting like everything should be handed to them on a silver platter. Fucking entitlement bitches, all of them. Nobody owes these people a goddamn thing unless they have worked for it.
What's even worse is the douchebag lawyers that encourage this shit. Fuck the entire lot of you. I hope there's a Hell so that you all burn in it. I can't turn on the goddamn TV without seeing your faces.
-J
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| Thursday, November 5th, 2009
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2:16 pm - Attack of the Retarded Vendors (Parts I - IV)
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| Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
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5:12 pm - Alrighty, kiddies... Let's talk about RACISM, and WHITE PRIVILEGE!
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I thought that this whole fad of screaming "white privilege" every time a white person did or said something that could even remotely be considered racist was over with. Halloween '09 comes around, however, and proves me wrong. This year's reason to bitch, baww, and be butthurt about? "Racist" halloween costumes, that's what. Apparently you are not allowed to dress up as anything resembling another race (unless that race is white) without it being racist. This goes from blackface to Native American headdress, to Mexican sombreros, apparently. It doesn't matter the context of the costume, or it's intent to offend.
I understand that this country still has a long way to go when it comes to race relations, but goddamn, man. What the fuck? If people would concentrate on cases where there's some obviously malicious, blatant, and harmful racism going on and stop bitching, pissing, and moaning over every little fucking thing, then more people might give a shit about their plight. But it seems that no matter how much we "privileged" white people give to all the other races, they're always going to demand more. I don't think they even care about racial "equality" anymore, they're striving for racial superiority and preferential treatment.
What really, really chaps my ass are the white people out there who are fighting this apparent "race war" against their own people. Most of them get even more offended and butthurt over supposed "racial" bullshit than the target races themselves. I have to question their motives, sometimes, because sometimes I don't even think they care nearly as much about racism as they act, they are just looking for flaws in the people around them so they can bitch and make themselves look better in their own eyes and in the eyes of a select few others. This is rather bigoted, if you ask me. I don't think that white people need to necessarily "pick a side and stick up for your own kind" but you losers need to also remember that you are white and therefore just as "privileged" as I am. I dare any of you to come spew that shit to my face.
I know that I have personally come a long way. I remember nearly 20 years ago talking my white best friend out of having a fling with a black girl because "he would get a bad reputation and would probably never get any more white pussy" if word got out about it. A decade ago this had progressed to at least the point of me being able to look at an attractive black girl and think to myself "she's pretty...for a black chick" and now I'm able to look at an attractive black girl and simply think to myself "she's pretty" with her race being a pretty distant afterthought, if I think of it at all. I live in a pretty ethnically diverse area and the only time I even think about the ethnicity of the people I deal with is if they either have an interesting accent, or if their accent and/or poor English makes it difficult for me to understand what they're saying to me. In spite of this, I recall a conversation with a certain (white) somebody not long ago where I brought up the fact that I had never dated, or been intimate with a black girl before, but that I was certainly open to the idea of doing so. I was then informed by this person that probably the reason I had never dated a black girl was because I was subconsciously stereotyping black girls and therefore not giving them a chance. I guess it just couldn't be the simple fact that there's not a hell of a whole lot of girlishly cute, shy black girls out there that are into BDSM and white guys, metal, could it? Hell I have a hard enough time finding white girls that I'm compatible with. So, I guess I'm a racist. Oh well... I've been called worse.
current music: Acid Witch - Witchtanic Hellucinations | Powered by Last.fm
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| Monday, November 2nd, 2009
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12:21 am - What manner of faggotry is this?
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I recently learned that, in Portland, Oregon, if your vehicle is towed, that some tow truck drivers will tack on a "temper fee" (usually $50) if somebody acts like they're irritated over their vehicle being towed.
Are you fucking kidding me? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? You know what, Portland? FUCK YOU.
That's right, I'm talking to every single one of you sorryass motherfuckers. I'm not in the habit of parking in ways that cause me to get towed, and every time I've ever been towed is because I've called the tow truck myself because I was broke down, so fuck off if this is what you're thinking. But I tell you what, if I am ever in Portland, and I get towed, and I have some pansyass towtruck driver charge me extra for a "temper fee" I will burn his goddamn house down while he sleeps.
This is the most ridiculous shit I've heard in my fucking life. A temper fee. What the fuck, man?
Source: http://www.kgw.com/news/specialreports/stories//kgw_030207_special_towing_tempers.10846173.html
An extra special fuck you goes out to Gary Coe. I hope somebody slits your throat, you sorry piece of shit.
-Jeff
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| Thursday, October 29th, 2009
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2:56 pm - From postsecret
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Hey you yuppie and hipster douchebags: Ever wonder why nobody ever takes you seriously? It's because of shit like this.
Unfortunately Atlanta has a pretty large yuppie and hipster element, and I'm constantly having to deal with these assholes in traffic. One of these days one of them is going to catch me in a bad mood and I'm going to Earnhardt 'em into the wall with my big flippin' gas-guzzling redneck F-150.
If whoever submitted this card reads this: Go fuck yourself, you sanctimonious, self-righteous waste of skin and oxygen.
-Jeff
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, October 17th, 2009
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3:34 pm - Thanks, Landronda
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Investigators say Hamilton was mad at the boy because he threw rocks at her mobile home, so she chased after him and stabbed him in the chest.
http://www.wsbtv.com/news/21325495/detail.html
This comes not even a day after I spent a good 15 minutes defending the entire goddamn south to somebody from the north.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
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5:26 pm - Ugh What the fuck, people?
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I really, really need to quit reading the news, otherwise I'm going to read something that finally really does put me over the edge and instead of me getting mad and running my mouth on the internet, I'm going to go fuck somebody up.
In the latest episode of "Let's Make Jeff RAGE:"
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,566341,00.html?test=latestnews
Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? SERIOUSLY?
Since when the hell did we become such goddamn crybabies that we're offended by the flag that represents the country that we live in? Furthermore, since when did property managers get the right to tell me how I could decorate my vehicle? I tell you what: You pay my payments, my maintenance, and my insurance, and then you can start telling me how I can decorate my vehicle.
Somebody please provide me some information about this place. I will call them and make them cry.
I swear if a property manager ever pulls this kind of shit on me, they better get a good lawyer, and they better be hungry, because they'd certainly be eating my knuckles.
Fuck you, whoever you are, you fascist, piece of shit property manager. Whatever ill things happen to you because of this, you deserve every goddamn bit of it.
-J
ETA:
Ok, literally seconds after I posted this tirade, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) nekomimi provided the following link:
http://www.democratherald.com/news/local/article_eb39642c-b8e3-11de-a474-001cc4c002e0.html
Apparently the ban has been lifted.
Dear Barb Holcomb: You are a dumb bitch. Please go self-immolate.
current music: Death - Misanthrope | Powered by Last.fm
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| Thursday, October 8th, 2009
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9:29 pm - The cutest thing happened to me today
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I was grocery shopping today, and I was wearing my denim vest -- the one that has all the metal band patches and the 5/8" spikes all over it. Well, I'm in the checkout line waiting for the chick in front of me when I feel somebody/something touching the back of my jacket. I turn around to see who/what it was, and it's this little old lady. She had to have been in her 70's, and she's checking out my metaled-out jacket. She compliments me for it, telling me that she thinks it's "cool" and then proceeds to help me unload my cart.
I love little old ladies, and it seems like I'm running into them often when I go to the store.
-Jeff
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| Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
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3:07 pm - Kiss it, N.C.!
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I lived in North Carolina for 12 and a half years. In that 12 years, I learned that anything that involved dealing with the state or county governments always resulted in a headache and usually trumped-up expenses as well. If you don't do everything exactly the way the state of North Carolina thinks you should do it, on the exact timetable that North Carolina thinks that you should do it, then North Carolina makes you pay out the ass for it. Let your vehicle insurance lapse for a day? That'll be $50. Want to buy a pistol? That'll be $5. Procrastinate on getting your vehicle inspection and emissions test? That's $250. The list goes on and on and on but I think you get the idea.
Anyhow, as most of you know, I moved to Georgia 6 months ago. Also, as most of you know, I'm a big procrastinator. Well, after realizing that my North Carolina registration on my truck had expired a few weeks ago, and knowing that I was going to be going to South Carolina this Friday to get my kid for the weekend, I decided that it might be a good idea to get off my ass and finally transfer my driver's license and vehicle registration to Georgia.
So, I do all the research and figure out exactly what I need to do. On Monday I went and got my emissions tested, and found all of the paperwork online to fill out for my registration and title transfer. I couldn't go yesterday because I had too much shit at work to do, but today before heading out the door, I decided that I should probably make sure that North Carolina had removed the tax block on my registration. I had paid my taxes a couple of months ago, but as is usually the case with me, I was a little late. So, I check the Onslow County tax web site, and lo and behold if it tells me that my taxes weren't paid. So I call up the tax office to find out what the deal is, and I learn that while yes, it was in the system that I had paid my taxes, apparently the system had added on a late fee/interest some time after I had paid them, which meant that I still had a tax block. How much did I owe the wonderful state of North Carolina for this discrepancy? $1.58. Holy fucking shit let me call my bank and see if I can take out a loan. As it turns out, the only way to pay this without having to drive the 9 and a half hours to the Onslow County tax office is to pay online. No big deal, as I pay pretty much everything but my rent online anyhow. But wait....they charge you a convenience fee, of $3.00, for this "service." Fuck. If this were an isolated incident, it wouldn't be such a big deal, but every goddamn time I've turned around for the past 13 years I've had to deal with this kind of shit.
On a happier note, I am DONE with North Carolina. If you, or anybody you know works for the North Carolina state government, you can kindly kiss my ass and go to hell.
Today's experience with dealing with Georgia's government agencies was quite pleasant. It's how Southern Hospitality is supposed to be.
-J
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| Friday, August 14th, 2009
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5:54 pm - An Open Reply to @atomicpoet
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I'm making this reply to you through here because of Twitter's 140 character limit, and i'm tired of breaking up and abbreviating my replies to make them fit.
Dude you've made it pretty painfully obvious that you really have no fucking idea how things are run in America. If I haven't already made it clear to you, I'm not exactly happy with a lot of my country's politics, but at least I know what the fuck is going on here. Your responses through Twitter only show me that you're some scene faggot or some stupid trendy hipster who is only trying to stir up some shit, and if that's the case, then you have managed to succeed to a degree.
You seem to think that there's a clear cut, universal, black and white solution to everything and that you are the one that has all of the answers, when you don't even know what all of the questions are. Just because you're funny and have a huge following on Twitter doesn't mean that anybody gives a shit about who you would vote for if you lived in the United States. It sounds to me like you need that silly little ego of yours cut down a couple of notches and I would be more than happy to do it for you if given the opportunity.
You act like Canada is some sort of utopia. If that's the case then why do you even give a shit about the US. Stay up there in your little utopia and shut the fuck up.
Thank you, and have a nice day,
Jeff
PS. What kind of "good booze" does Canada have other than Crown Royal? Oh, that's right, there is none. Canadian whiskey sucks and Canadian beer sucks even more. Go fuck yourself.
ETA: Furthermore, my medical benefits are excellent. Do you know why? Because I actually have a job and don't sit back on my fat, lazy ass an expect the government to hand my checks and benefits to me.
current music: Skyforger - Werewolves
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| Wednesday, August 12th, 2009
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2:19 pm - Man....wtf?
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You know, I'm just as guilty as any white guy for making airjerk gestures at a lot of the things black folks pull the race card over, but every once in awhile, I run across something that makes me rage at the stupidity of some white people.
Costco Pulls Offensive "Lil' Monkey" Doll Off Shelves
Who in the hell, in this day and age, thought that this would be a good idea?
-J
current music: Tears Of Magdalena - Immortal Love
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| Tuesday, August 11th, 2009
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1:40 pm - A Public Service Announcement from jeffsworld!
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| Monday, August 10th, 2009
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6:46 pm
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| Sunday, August 9th, 2009
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1:10 pm - Somebody really needs to formulate this stuff...
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| Friday, August 7th, 2009
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1:18 pm - Karma's a bitch isn't it?
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Yes, two posts in a row about the po-po....
As discussed in my previous post, I watch a lot of "Cops" on TV. Most of the times, I don't really have much of an issue with how the officers deal with the different situations on there, but every once in awhile I see something that makes me RAGE.
This particular clip featured Palm Beach County, Florida deputy sheriff Jeffrey Lower. I can't remember the details of the call but he pulled over some guys and ended up finding drugs on them and I think one of them had a warrant. One of the guys called Deputy Lower "dude." Officer Lower's response to this: He flips his shit and tells the guy "Do I look like a dude to you? Call me dude one more time and we're going to have a real problem."
Dude...what the fuck? Show me where it is codified into law that it is illegal in any way, manner, fashion or form, to call anybody, LEO or not "dude." It's pretty fucking hypocritical how some of you assholes react to this, considering that I see just as many of you calling the "perps" "dude," "buddy," and whatnot. If you can't handle this then you should probably not be a cop. I promise any of you that if you stack up charges on me because I call you "dude" I will make sure that your home is burnt to the ground, preferably with you in it. Capisce?
So yeah, the episode left me yelling at the TV for a good ten minutes, then just for the hell of it, I went into my office and Googled for the guy. Here's the first thing I found:
( Cut to save your friends page from being mutilated... )
(Source)
Well well, looks like Mister Dude is crooked. Why am I not surprised?
I hope he did time, and got assraped a few times.
There's one thing that I hate more than cocky cops, and that's dirty, cocky cops.
If anybody sees this guy, beat his face in with a hammer, will you?
-J
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